The Language of Strengh

It's pretty much an accepted fact that human beings make decisions emotionally,
and then back up their emotion-based decisions with logic.
We "rationalize"... that is, we tell ourselves "rational lies."
And every one else does the same.
Often, whether or not people will buy into what we say depends less upon logic,
than on how their ego accepts the words they hear from us.

Wouldn't you agree that,
generally speaking, few people truly enjoy being corrected or criticized?
I mean, I can't think of the last time someone criticized me,
and I responded by saying, "THANK YOU! THANK YOU
for pointing out the error of my ways.

"Yet, in the real world, correcting and critiquing others is a part of life.
Your kids didn't clean their rooms, your spouse overpaid on a negotiable
product,
your associate mishandled a presentation, your customer is not working with you
correctly, etc.

There is one concept above practically all else that makes
the biggest difference in your ability to persuade others
to your way of thinking and attain the results you desire.

It is known by several different words:
diplomacy, delicacy, sensitivity, savior faire, and yes, "tact."

Tact is the language of strength.
It is the ability to say something or make a point in such a way
that not only is the other person not offended;
they are totally receptive.

Learning what to say and how to say it will get results for you
which will seem just like magic.
Every situation you find yourself in,
and every time you must call someone's attention
to a particular way of acting, keep "tact" in mind.
Tact will be the key to how those people receive you and what you say,
and whether that person will ultimately take the action that will benefit all
concerned.

How do we utilize tact?
First, we consider what we are going to say... before we say it.
We edit our speech, before the speech.
We ask ourselves questions such as, "How will he or she 'feel'
about what I'm about to say, and how I'm about to say it."
Take a pretend tape recorder with you over the next 21 days,
and "play back" every conversation you have.
Ask yourself, "Did I think before I spoke", "Was I considerate of their
feelings?",
"Was I gentle in my manner?",
and was the expression on my face consistent with my words?"

Let's make an agreement, you and I,
that we'll analyze the way we talk to others for just 21 days.
If you feel as though you don't know the exact right words -- no problem.
Begin with the right thoughts;
the rest we'll take care of week-by-week.

written by Bob Burg the author of "Endless Referrals"